You know that guy with six pack abs— the guy who’s in shape year round and doesn’t have a problem resisting junk food?
Well… that’s definitely not me.
Too many late-night runs to Burger King have crushed that dream. In my defense, I blame Halo. When you’re kicking ass and taking names, you got to eat right?
Who am I?
I’m the guy who exercises like a mad man, but fails miserably when it comes to diet. I’m the guy that uses words such as “10 mile” and “easy” in the same sentence and believes that all men should train like Rocky because lifting boulders and logs is manly.
You’ll find I’m pretty random if you continue reading my blog. My name’s Theodore Swogger, but I go by Ted. It’s shorter and less geeky than Theodore. However, my friends have called me Theo, Ted Swagger, Swogger-mobile, T-Swoggs, Ted Satago (newspapers hate my name), and Teddy. Thanks mom. Feel free to pick your favorite or come up with a new one. Go on, surprise me.
Where am I from?
I grew up in a small town called Connersville, Indiana. Let’s see. What should you know about it? Thomas the Train comes once a year, we have one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the state, and our football teams blows. They won one game in the four years I was there. Many people believe the Spartans are cursed, and I don’t blame them.
I played basketball during my freshman year and ran track my senior year. After graduation, I moved to Indianapolis to attend Marian University where I graduated with a B.A in Literature and met my wonderful wife, Hannah. She’s beautiful, smart, a great cook and published author. I could go on, but she’d have my head for bragging about her.
Now, I work with a company called Tangram. They help people with disabilities live extraordinary lives. It’s great to work with such amazing individuals. My client owns his own car detailing business. It has been very fulfilling to make a difference in someone’s life.
If you’re still reading, (which is good by the way) then you’re probably thinking, “Why write about health and fitness?”
Why Write about Health & Fitness
Because this stuff is hard.
Emotional eating has kicked my butt all my life.
When I’m upset, I think about double cheeseburgers from McDonalds. Okay, maybe it’s not always a double cheeseburger. Sometimes, it might be chocolate chip cookies or Reese Cups. Now, how on earth a double cheeseburger can solve all my problems is beyond me. Maybe I’m missing something, who knows. That’s how my brain’s been wired since I could remember.
And that makes being healthy, tough–let alone staying in great shape. I decided to change. I didn’t like how food was controlling my life. And now, I’m writing a blog about. I know, how ironic.
I’d learn everything I could about health and fitness, and I’d never have to worry about my weight again. Ha, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It was like banging my head against a brick wall. Over and over again. You’d be rich if you had a dollar every time I went on a “healthy” diet, broke down, and then ordered a large Pizza King Pizza. Connersville had its perks, namely Pizza King. Amazing pizza. Trust me.
The Endless Cycle
For a few months, I’d eat healthy, lift some weights, and do interval training. I’d feel good, even enthusiastic that I would reach my health goals. But you know the old saying, shit happens? It’s true. My emotions would get the best of me. I’d tell myself I didn’t care anymore.
I’d miss a workout here and there. Nothing too bad, not anything I couldn’t recover from. But then I didn’t. Things would get worse. Eventually, fast food found its way back into my life. And before I knew it, I was right back to square one. It was like waking up from a dream.
This process repeated itself over and over again. This caused my self-esteem to plummet into the toilet. I didn’t believe in myself anymore and thought I was doomed to repeat this horrible cycle of yo-yo dieting forever. It wasn’t uncommon for me to lose 20lbs in two months only to regain it several months later.
The Final Showdown
But then things got serious. My friends would say that I was signing up for the good ole’ ball and chain. Yep, I was getting married at the end of the Summer. If that’s not motivation to get into shape, then I don’t know what is.
So, with three months left, against the ropes, and in the final round, I did what everyone does when faced with such impossible odds. I ordered a late-night TV infomercial. Okay, maybe not everyone does that. But I did! Anyways, I stumbled upon Shawn T’s Insanity Program. It looked promising, so why not? At this point, I had nothing to lose.
It lasted 3 weeks, right until I realized I was going to blow out my knees if I continued those dreaded workouts. If you care about your knees or prone to arthritis, then you might want to hold off on the Insanity Program. In a nutshell—way too much jumping.
And the guy in the apartment below me thought his ceiling was going to come crashing down. He asked me if I was trying anything new. I told him my roommate had started a new exercise routine and not to worry because he gave up on it. I know. I’m horrible.
Instead, I went back to hill sprints and interval training. Although it nearly killed me, I knew it was going to work. Or so I thought.
(There’s me and my beautiful wife )
Yet despite my best efforts, the stresses of wedding planning had sent me back to my old habits. And sure enough places like McDonald’s, Arby’s, and Wendy’s became my best friends again.
I knew what I was doing to myself. But for some reason, I couldn’t break the cycle. It looked like I had been conquered by the double cheeseburger again, and it showed.
On my wedding day, I couldn’t button my pants.
After ten minutes of stretching my pants, sucking in my gut, and lots of cursing, I finally gave up. If my pants fall down when I’m up at the altar, then so be it. I don’t care. I was puking and my nerves were shot. I just wanted to get through the day.
Lucky for me, Lawana, my sister-in-law developed some type of contraption with a hair pin to save the day. Thank God, she’s good with Arts and Crafts. She’s also an amazing photographer. If you live in the Indy area and need pictures done, then check out her website. She did a fantastic job with our wedding pictures!
Back to the story, I was able to hold up my pants and I got married, and we lived happily ever after riding unicorns across rainbows into the magical land of Narnia.
Ha-ha. Okay, we haven’t done the flying unicorn part… yet. But what about my battle with double cheeseburgers. You didn’t really think I was going to let that double cheeseburger get the best of me did you?
Marriage had it’s perks. Namely, it meant that I didn’t have to worry about scavenging up food for dinner. I can make Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches and toast. That’s about it. Because of my lovely wife, I have been double cheeseburger free for almost 2 months.
And that’s where this site comes in. It’s a way to hold me accountable, a way to make sure I don’t turn into one of those living Husband Couches. You know the ones that watch football all day and drink beer.
Now, if you want to look like Brad Pitt from Fight Club, then this site probably isn’t for you. If that’s what you want, then check out Fitness Black Book.
Fitnessbloom is more about being healthy rather than trying to teach people how to look ripped because I think that there are a lot more people out there who just want to be heathier and who are not too concerned with being a model.
So if you want to learn:
- how to save money by eating healthy
- how your kids can be healthy
- what it takes to be healthy
- or if you just want support, motivation, and to have fun along the way
Then please, by all means, become a fan! I post every Thursday and occasionally on weekends.
I want to help people out as much as I can, especially those that struggle with emotional eating like me. My hope is that we can both learn from each other and continue on this awesome journey called life.
And lastly, you’re probably wondering where I’m at now. Wouldn’t that’d be bad if I had already turned into a couch potato after only 4 months of marriage?
Here is a pic taken 12/13/2012.
So yeah, I’ve been trying to keep those double cheeseburgers away.
And so, that’s my story and why I decided to start blogging.
I hope you enjoyed it.
Thank you, and feel free to share (using the button below) or leave a comment to get the word out.
Thanks and have a good one,